Your Likability Tax

Where are you still being steered by a rule you never chose?  

Every time Fran absorbs extra work (she thinks “it’s not a problem, it’s so quick and easy!”), every time she softens a proposal (she thinks “I don’t want to seem aggressive...”), every time she holds a rate (she thinks “I don’t want my client to feel taken advantage of...”), there is a cost.  

It's not abstract. It compounds annually. Over a decade it represents a staggering transfer of value from her to her clients…

Patty’s Perspective . . .

Fran’s behavior is not evidence of low confidence. It’s The Broken Cookie Effect® in action. 

In fact, I would take it even a step further: it’s a form of fawning. Psychology recognizes four stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Until the last few years, I was familiar with the first three but not fawning.  

I grew up with a strong, silent implicit message: ‘Don’t rock the boat.’ Until recently, I had no idea how much this message still impacts my decisions. But we all respond to stress in different situations with some form of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. 

Fawning shows up when you’ve learned, usually early, that being liked and being useful are the safest way to navigate relationships with power.  

In professional settings, for Fran (and for me!), when being too direct, too expensive, or too demanding created social or professional consequences, fawning gets rewired as professionalism. 

This is not a character flaw. It is adaptive. It works. The warmth, the generosity, the attunement to what clients need—these built your business.  

But…the same nervous system response that built relationships is now being triggered in pricing conversations, scope discussions, and contract negotiations. Fran’s body reads ‘asking for full value’ as a threat to the relationship. So, she softens, discounts, absorbs, accommodates—and calls it good client service. 

The most expensive relationship in your business is the one you have with your own value. Is the likability that built your business quietly robbing it?

Now What?

The exit process is complicated, technical, and often biased—especially for women, who are regularly rushed, undervalued, and pressured into damaging compromises. 

Your transition will, quite literally, change your life. You’ll experience a broad range of emotions, from fear and doubt to pride and joy.  

And it will be complex. And challenging. And stressful.  

I specialize in this work because you deserve better. I’ll help you design an Elegant Exit™—one grounded in dignity, clarity, and self-respect. 

When she started working with me, Jill was clear: “On paper, everything works—but I feel stuck. I need an advisor who can help me see options I can’t see on my own. Should I evolve, exit, or redesign the business entirely?” 

What shifted wasn’t burnout or crisis. It was clarity.  

Feeling stuck used to be her default mode. “I don't think I realized the level of dissatisfaction I was living in and where that was seeping into all areas of my life, until the curtain got pulled back a bit. Because for 99.9% of us, we just keep going and it becomes our next normal.” 
 

Now, she says “I don’t see the way out, but I see the why out.” 

That awareness changes everything. Because exit transitions don’t begin with buyers or valuations. They begin with honesty. 

In fact, for women running companies under $5M in annual revenue, I’ve come to believe that you have more control, better focus on your real priorities, and better odds of building wealth when you build Living Capital™, instead of trying to sell your business to a stranger (what I call Latent Capital™). 

An exit is elegant only if it increases your personal wealth while decreasing the stress required to maintain it. 

Anything else is just endurance with better branding. 

The Elegant Exit™ is how you convert business success into real wealth—without sacrificing your nervous system to get there. 

As your advocate, I’m looking out for your best interests, guiding you to discover right-fit options, execute critical decisions, and cultivate personal wealth. 

Contact me to learn more.

What are your biggest blind spots in crafting an exit? Find out at: http://she-exits.com/