Interview Patty

The Main Obstacle To Success: What If Someone Finds Out Who Really I am?

The Main Obstacle To Success: What If Someone Finds Out Who Really I am?

Fear is one of the most powerful obstacles to people's results and success.

Many times, fear is exposed in the shape of our anxiety response to easily locatable perceived treats, such as the simple idea of us speaking in public or taking a long intercontinental flight. While not always easy at least, the efficient and proper expected response to our exposed terrors is clear and unmistaken. However, our path to success is many other times hampered by the subconscious and unveiled fears that attack positive results without us even realizing it or spotting how these fears may eventually look like. Those fears that when uncovered find us muttering astonished 'I can't believe this has been impacting on my accomplishments!.' Do you know what we are talking about?


Well. The fear to be yourself is one of the most common and practical examples of it.


Have you ever been afraid of saying or showing how you really are? What would you like to do? What and why are your priorities in life? What do you care the most about? What are your values and your dreams? Yes. More or less, it is quite easy and comfy to hide our true selves fleeing from the fear of other people non-approval. And yes. This is a sometimes unclear but absolutely devasting obstacle towards achievement. Because if you can't be honest about the fact that you don't like animals, you prefer to backpack, you have children that make your life messy but enlightened, or you have a life-long health problem, how could you eventually be honest as to pursue the life that you actually want to live? How are you going to be able to keep all those desired things or situations that you have conquered?


Think about it. We many times try to make it look like we are preserving our private sphere, but very much in the deep, we are just afraid of being judged or pointed out. Right? So how to move forward? Well, only by understanding the reasons for our fears and speaking them out we will start setting the grounds for going successfully through it. When coming to the dismay of men or the fear of what other people will say, there are three main reasons that we need to start digging in with.


1. We are not convinced of our values and beliefs

Values in a narrow sense is that which is good, desirable, or worthwhile. As such, values are universal and transcend contexts because they are based on the common good and the common reason. Values are the motive behind purposeful action and the end to which we act. Beliefs otherwise are assumptions we hold to be true. When we use our beliefs to make decisions, we are assuming the causal relationships of the past, which led to the belief, will also apply in the future. Beliefs are contextual. They arise from learned experiences, resulting from the cultural and environmental situations we have faced.


It is quite often that we take contextual beliefs and assume them as universal values. This usually happens when we do not give second thoughts to the world the way is presented to us preassuming as truthful what we have been taught without questioning. We often behave based on beliefs that we have not made ours, that we haven't processed, understood and chosen as those beliefs we want our lives to be informed by. Consequently, we sometimes find ourselves doubting about the way forward, our motivations and aspirations.


Have you ever invested time in defining your beliefs? Do you have values that you have interiorized as yours? Do your priorities fit into what you think is essential or what others or society feel is important? Until we are not proactively convinced about the values and beliefs that inspired our lives, we will clearly feel unsecured easily prone to be just what others expect us to be.


2. We are afraid of being different and non- accepted

To really power up your success, you can not lose energy fighting the person you really are. Get to know and accept yourself. Identify which way fits you better and accept yourself accordingly. Love yourself. There is no one way better than others. There is just one successful way for each person. Stop hiding behind your conform zone and fostering what you think others need you to be. If you don't find comfortable with the person, you are you will find yourself investing all your energy on doing things that you don't want to do, saying things you don't want to say and pursuing dreams that are not your dreams.


Can you open your Instagram account and recognize the true you on it? Just by feeling confident and internally empowered about the person we are and what matters to us in life, we will be able to live in a way that makes us happy.


3. We crave for the wrong things

Since we wake up till we close our eyes again, we are bombarded with information. We have the whole world on our feet in just one click. Is through this constant and uncountable information that we can easily experience someone's breakfast in Bali while drinking our morning coffee. That we can taste people beautiful houses, cars, trips around the worlds, families, and experiences...All! As consumers, we are also constantly manipulated to purchase, believe, desire and crave. No wonder it can be tough to find what we really want in life, who we really are and what is really making us happy.


One of the main reasons why we do not get the success that matter to us is because we crave for the wrong things. Those goals and ambitions created for us by the outside world, instead of by our values and passions. Success is the result of both a clear destination and a well-working compass. Defined with precision and pursue with unmistaken determination.


Source: Forbes

Patty Block, President and Founder of The Block Group, established her company to advocate for women-owned businesses, helping them position their companies for strategic growth. From improving cash flow…. ​to increasing staff productivity…. ​to scaling for growth, these periods of transition — and so many more — provide both challenges and opportunities. Managed effectively, change can become a productive force for growth. The Block Group harnesses that potential​, turning roadblocks into building blocks for women-owned businesses​.

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